fix(ui)：keep destroy widgets out of the widget's active list

[LinYunMo]

Re: #18893
Cherry-pick‌ From: cocos/cocos4#302

Changelog

• activeWidgets could keep widgets that have already been destroyed, so
  refreshScene called align() with widget.node === null (reset by
  CCObject._destruct) and threw every frame.
  Entries got in through visitNode, which collected widgets by widget.enabled
  alone - a flag that stays true after destroy(). Entries only got out through
  Widget.onDisable, which disableComp skips unless the component was enabled
  by the scheduler (IsOnEnableCalled).
  • visitNode now rejects widgets that are already marked for destruction.
  • Widget.onDestroy unregisters as well, covering widgets that were collected
    while still valid but never got onDisable.

---

Continuous Integration

This pull request:

• needs automatic test cases check.

  Manual trigger with @cocos-robot run test cases afterward.

• does not change any runtime related code or build configuration

  If any reviewer thinks the CI checks are needed, please uncheck this option, then close and reopen the issue.

---

Compatibility Check

This pull request:

• changes public API, and have ensured backward compatibility with deprecated features.
• affects platform compatibility, e.g. system version, browser version, platform sdk version, platform toolchain, language version, hardware compatibility etc.
• affects file structure of the build package or build configuration which requires user project upgrade.
• introduces breaking changes, please list all changes, affected features and the scope of violation.

[greptile-apps]

Your trial has ended. Reactivate Greptile to resume code reviews.

[github-actions]

Code Size Check Report

Wechat (WASM)	Before	After	Diff
2D Empty (legacy pipeline)	1009914 bytes	1009914 bytes	✅ 0 bytes
2D All (legacy pipeline)	2676381 bytes	2676447 bytes	⚠️ +66 bytes
2D All (new pipeline)	2768117 bytes	2768183 bytes	⚠️ +66 bytes
(2D + 3D) All	10025305 bytes	10025371 bytes	⚠️ +66 bytes

Web (WASM + ASMJS)	Before	After	Diff
(2D + 3D) All	16845449 bytes	16845515 bytes	⚠️ +66 bytes

Interface Check Report

This pull request does not change any public interfaces !

[github-actions]

@LinYunMo, Please check the result of run test cases:

• Test Platform: PR-Test
• Editor Version: v3.8.9
• Task Result: RUNNING
• Task URL: https://cctest.cocos.org/#/reportview/PR-TEST/435e2fb7-712a-4677-ab6a-f9adbd149fb9/-1
• GitHub Action: https://github.com/cocos/cocos-engine/actions/runs/32833665563

Task Details

[github-actions]

@LinYunMo, Please check the result of run test cases:

• Test Platform: PR-Test
• Editor Version: v3.8.9
• Task Result: PASS
• Task URL: https://cctest.cocos.org/#/reportview/PR-TEST/e0847501-acae-4e93-ae61-7303d5cb181a/-1
• GitHub Action: https://github.com/cocos/cocos-engine/actions/runs/32833665563

Task Details